thewayne | Awesome spam email titles!

Only if you want stupid porno jokes, go deeper....

I've been getting lots of "obtain a monumental fuckstick Amanda"-type emails for a while. Personally, if Amanda has something like that, unlike Randal in Clerks, I really don't want to know.

But I particularly liked this one: "My immence cock Derick". If my manhood were so enormous that I had to have a derrick to support it, I would either be in the porn industry or consider reduction surgery. Cher's had her breasts trimmed once or twice, so why couldn't a guy? Besides, how much space would it take up in your bedroom if you required a derrick, much less car modifications? Would it be like one of those cars for people whose legs don't work, only you're using another part of your anatomy to operate the car? "Look hon, no hands!" Shave your face while driving to work! Would you get a handicapped placard for parking, since this huge assembly has to precede you? Do you need a man to walk in front of you with a red lantern and a bell so that you don't frighten the horses?

Yes, brain dead am I, able to leap to tall conclusions in a single bound! Still, I am amused: simple things amaze simple minds.