Titles of Klingon Fairy Tales

No idea where my friend found these, but I liked them. Maybe I'll do some myself should the urge strike and honor demand it.

"Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears"

"Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others"

"There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe With a Big Spike on It"

"The Three Little Pigs Build an Improvised Explosive Device and Deal With That Damned Wolf Once and for All"

"Jack and the Giant Settle Their Differences With Flaming Knives"

"Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable"

"Mary Had a Little Lamb. It Was Delicious"

"Little Red Riding Hood Strays Into the Neutral Zone and Is Never Heard From Again, Although There Are Rumors ... Awful, Awful Rumors"

"Hansel and Gretel Offend Vlad the Impaler"

"The Hare Foolishly Lowers His Guard and Is Devastated by the Tortoise, Whose Prowess in Battle Attracts Many Desirable Mates"

OK, follow me on this

Fossil, the trendy watch company, is selling a Darth Vader watch. With a certificate of authenticity. Darth Vader is stating that this watch is authentic? A fictional character is authenticating that this is, indeed, a watch? The Star Wars Droids watch doesn't have a certificate of authenticity, does that mean that droids aren't real?

I'm confused. :-)

http://www.fossil.com/shopping/product/detailmain.jsp?itemID=26458&itemType=PRODUCT&iMainCat=965&iSubCat=1076&iProductID=26458

(but I do have to say that the Gondor watch looks pretty cool)