Sharkbait is a section of Computerworld magazine online where computer techs get to gripe. I've contributed a few, but this is definitely one of the best written ones that I've read in a long time.
http://sharkbait.computerworld.com/?q=node/2653Busy as hell
Topic(s): Miscellaneous Bait
Submitted by: kgagne – Fri, 08/22/2008 – 10:12
Leave it to a pair of IT professionals to overanalyze things. What should've been a simple salutation in an IRC channel became a detailed dissertation that stopped just short of thermodynamics. Observe...
kgagne: Good morning.
sheppy: Hi Ken.
kgagne: How's it going, Shep?
sheppy: Okay. Busy as hell.
kgagne: Just how busy *is* hell, anyway?
sheppy: Well, that's an interesting question. If you assume it's anything like "Inferno", it's pretty freakin' busy.
kgagne: But once you tell a guy to do a task FOREVER, there's not exactly a lot of follow-up project management involved, is there? Deadlines, meetings, expense reports, etc. all kinda go out the window.
sheppy: Sure there is. Those lazy slackers keep trying to talk to guys being guided through Hell by dead poets. So you gotta keep on 'em.
kgagne: Well, we can phase out the dead poets with a combination of moving sidewalks and self-guided, pre-recorded audio tours.
sheppy: Rental iPods.
kgagne: Perhaps divide the workers from the tourists with a one-way mirrored tunnel, or a personal cloaking device or dimensional phase shifter.
sheppy: Still, the wretched get distracted easily from their rivers of feces and whatnot.
kgagne: Neural implants will keep their agony consistent regardless of distraction.
sheppy: Sounds like a lot of expense. I think management would rather keep beating the clients.
kgagne: It's a large investment up-front, but the ROI is improved productivity among both staff and clients, freeing up demonic resources for other projects. The war on heaven ain't gonna wage itself.
sheppy: But at a loss of morale. I still suspect they prefer the personal touch. The staff has to have its recreation.
kgagne: Isn't that what hell is all about -- loss of morale?
sheppy: I think it's about loss of morale for the shades, not so much for the staff necessarily.
kgagne: Then perhaps a nice foosball table will balance things out.
sheppy: That could be. Or a sno-cone machine. Because there's not a sno-cone's chance in hell of getting a foosball table.
kgagne: Conclusion: you're obviously not as busy as hell, if you can contemplate such matters.
sheppy: Damn you.
kgagne: In that case, I'll report back with my firsthand review ASAP.
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