I LOVE getting to write purple prose!
May. 21st, 2013 08:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thewayneMy friend Rich is running an RPG set in Three Musketeers era France, only there's also some magic. We're using a rules system called Fortune's Fool, which is pretty neat. It's diceless: you use a tarot deck to resolve all events.
I've only gotten to play in it twice since he has the sheer temerity to run it 500 miles from where I live! But my wife Russet and I did get to play in it Saturday night. We had a tradition, once upon a time, while playing Champions, to write up mission reports after an evening's play, and we'd award XP since that became a record of the campaign that could be referred to. Even though Rich hasn't announced he'll give rewards for such things, I felt it incumbent upon me to write one up and really get in to the language. My character is a musketeer of de Tréville's troop and was assigned an investigation by he himself, so I thought the report fit the situation quite well.
It probably doesn't help that I've been reading Beethoven's letters.
For those of you who couldn't care less about such things, I've placed it all behind a cut.
Most esteemed and honored M. de Tréville:
It is my duty and honor to update you on the status of the enterprise upon which you have set me. I met with M. Felix and Mme. Constance, and been reunited with my brother, M. Yves, lately a new recruit of the Queen's Own Pistols and boon companion to M. Felix.
After meeting over breakfast with the above and being brought up to date on the recent events, we formed cunning stratagems and sallied forth to inspect the room where Le Morte Robert, the pawn broker and usurer, met his untimely end with unseemly violence. Two clews were obtained there, one pointing us towards a M. Goldman, whom we ascertained was most likely the Rabbi of the local Hebrew community. The other clew may be unrelated to this series of events but shall be given due consideration later.
Upon entreating M. Goldman's page to speak with him, M. G. fled the scene with two confederates. We were too few in number to cover all escapes and were unable to apprehend him. His flight may be a sign of guilt, that has not yet been ascertained with any certitude.
We then met with M. Eduard and companion, who were also investigating these unfortunate incidents. Information was exchanged, and a campaign planned to accompany him in force to a meeting with agitators advocating nothing less than the usurpation of the Crown and His Eminence! The sheer effrontery of such an enterprise leaves me entirely bereft of words! Though these people be men of wealth and station, they are surely base-born and deserving of great contempt and scorn, they are most worthy of the cruel entertainments that should be provided them in the Bastille once they are apprehended.
Nevertheless, Eduard entered the appointed place of the meeting with a companion and Mme. Constance ahead of the appointed hour, only to find not only an absence of those conspirators who invited him, but the presence of a golem, the very creature whose existence we were investigating!
Ah, the battle that ensued! It is worth far better than my poor words can convey, had only de Bergerac been there! It seemed intent upon the destruction of Eduard, and many brave strikes and deeds were done to stop and destroy it. Mighty blows were rained upon it by M. Felix, shattering large parts of its baked clay form! The most curious part of the fight was when my brother, using a small script of prayer taken from Mort Robert's shop and apparently signed and consecrated by M. Goldman, loaded it in to his pistol and shot the creature. It appeared thoroughly confused and disoriented, whereas mighty pistol shots had previously seemed to flow unheeded like a single raindrop off a cape of surpassing beauty. This may be evidence against M. Goldman: I have since spoken with scholars of the Hebrew and Kabbalistic arts who tell me that these golems are given motive life through a prayer or blessing of a Hebrew holy man, thus said construct, allowing that it perceives things in a way that we do not, may have thought fragments of a prayer script also blessed by a Rabbi, perhaps the same Rabbi who gave the motive blessing?, being shot at it by the device of a pistol to be at conflict as to its animation and purpose.
At last, the creature most foul was destroyed, broken in countless pieces. I have recovered a handful of said pieces if any further examination of them might prove useful. Alas, the inn where the meeting was to take place was consumed by fire from the carnage wreaked by the golem in its vain struggle to hold off its destruction at our hands.
Here my report begins to draw to a close. I recommend a detention order be issued in the King's hand for the capture and holding of the Rabbi Goldman for fomenting unrest and rebellion against the Crown and State, and for questioning regarding the deaths of M. Mort Robert and others, and to answer for the attempted murder of M. Eduard and companions, some being of high station. I also recommend the detention of Messrs Bernard Le Fond and Philipe Nahon, whom I understand to be merchants of some repute, for the above crimes, upon questioning and the further gathering of facts it may be required to lay upon them the charges of High Treason most foul.
I cannot say where our investigation shall lead from this point, we shall gather, exchange facts, postulate new stratagems, and go forth for the defeat of the enemies of the Crown and France.
GOD SAVE THE KING! GOD WATCH OVER FRANCE!
I remain your obedient and faithful servant,
Jean-Michelle Matthieu
I've only gotten to play in it twice since he has the sheer temerity to run it 500 miles from where I live! But my wife Russet and I did get to play in it Saturday night. We had a tradition, once upon a time, while playing Champions, to write up mission reports after an evening's play, and we'd award XP since that became a record of the campaign that could be referred to. Even though Rich hasn't announced he'll give rewards for such things, I felt it incumbent upon me to write one up and really get in to the language. My character is a musketeer of de Tréville's troop and was assigned an investigation by he himself, so I thought the report fit the situation quite well.
It probably doesn't help that I've been reading Beethoven's letters.
For those of you who couldn't care less about such things, I've placed it all behind a cut.
Most esteemed and honored M. de Tréville:
It is my duty and honor to update you on the status of the enterprise upon which you have set me. I met with M. Felix and Mme. Constance, and been reunited with my brother, M. Yves, lately a new recruit of the Queen's Own Pistols and boon companion to M. Felix.
After meeting over breakfast with the above and being brought up to date on the recent events, we formed cunning stratagems and sallied forth to inspect the room where Le Morte Robert, the pawn broker and usurer, met his untimely end with unseemly violence. Two clews were obtained there, one pointing us towards a M. Goldman, whom we ascertained was most likely the Rabbi of the local Hebrew community. The other clew may be unrelated to this series of events but shall be given due consideration later.
Upon entreating M. Goldman's page to speak with him, M. G. fled the scene with two confederates. We were too few in number to cover all escapes and were unable to apprehend him. His flight may be a sign of guilt, that has not yet been ascertained with any certitude.
We then met with M. Eduard and companion, who were also investigating these unfortunate incidents. Information was exchanged, and a campaign planned to accompany him in force to a meeting with agitators advocating nothing less than the usurpation of the Crown and His Eminence! The sheer effrontery of such an enterprise leaves me entirely bereft of words! Though these people be men of wealth and station, they are surely base-born and deserving of great contempt and scorn, they are most worthy of the cruel entertainments that should be provided them in the Bastille once they are apprehended.
Nevertheless, Eduard entered the appointed place of the meeting with a companion and Mme. Constance ahead of the appointed hour, only to find not only an absence of those conspirators who invited him, but the presence of a golem, the very creature whose existence we were investigating!
Ah, the battle that ensued! It is worth far better than my poor words can convey, had only de Bergerac been there! It seemed intent upon the destruction of Eduard, and many brave strikes and deeds were done to stop and destroy it. Mighty blows were rained upon it by M. Felix, shattering large parts of its baked clay form! The most curious part of the fight was when my brother, using a small script of prayer taken from Mort Robert's shop and apparently signed and consecrated by M. Goldman, loaded it in to his pistol and shot the creature. It appeared thoroughly confused and disoriented, whereas mighty pistol shots had previously seemed to flow unheeded like a single raindrop off a cape of surpassing beauty. This may be evidence against M. Goldman: I have since spoken with scholars of the Hebrew and Kabbalistic arts who tell me that these golems are given motive life through a prayer or blessing of a Hebrew holy man, thus said construct, allowing that it perceives things in a way that we do not, may have thought fragments of a prayer script also blessed by a Rabbi, perhaps the same Rabbi who gave the motive blessing?, being shot at it by the device of a pistol to be at conflict as to its animation and purpose.
At last, the creature most foul was destroyed, broken in countless pieces. I have recovered a handful of said pieces if any further examination of them might prove useful. Alas, the inn where the meeting was to take place was consumed by fire from the carnage wreaked by the golem in its vain struggle to hold off its destruction at our hands.
Here my report begins to draw to a close. I recommend a detention order be issued in the King's hand for the capture and holding of the Rabbi Goldman for fomenting unrest and rebellion against the Crown and State, and for questioning regarding the deaths of M. Mort Robert and others, and to answer for the attempted murder of M. Eduard and companions, some being of high station. I also recommend the detention of Messrs Bernard Le Fond and Philipe Nahon, whom I understand to be merchants of some repute, for the above crimes, upon questioning and the further gathering of facts it may be required to lay upon them the charges of High Treason most foul.
I cannot say where our investigation shall lead from this point, we shall gather, exchange facts, postulate new stratagems, and go forth for the defeat of the enemies of the Crown and France.
GOD SAVE THE KING! GOD WATCH OVER FRANCE!
I remain your obedient and faithful servant,
Jean-Michelle Matthieu
