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(Satire from The God Podcast) This was just too funny not to share.
In a disturbing turn of events, former President Donald Trump has reportedly decided to hang Ohio Senator J.D. Vance. Sources inside Mar-a-Lago claim that Trump, in a fit of medieval inspiration, announced that he would host a "public hanging" to make an example out of Vance.
The shocking decision stems from Trump's realization that Vance, whom he just made his VP running mate last week, was a bad choice. With Trump no longer running against Joe Biden but against Kamala Harris, he believes Vance is too much of a "loser" and needs to be replaced with someone more suitable for the new political landscape.
"Trump was very clear," said an anonymous insider. "He said, 'I want to show everyone what happens when you cross me, and I need someone who isn't a total uggo weirdo to stand beside me.' It was like something out of Game of Thrones."
Adding to the chaos, it has come to light that Trump was completely unaware that Vance's wife is Indian, which is costing him with his base.
J.D. Vance, for his part, is reportedly under heavy security and has been advised to avoid all public appearances until further notice. "He's shaken, understandably," said a close aide. "No one expects to be threatened with hanging in modern American politics, especially by a former president."
Meanwhile, reactions from within the Republican party are overwhelmingly supportive. "It's just Trump being Trump," one senator remarked with a nervous laugh. "He probably means it metaphorically. Probably." The GOP members appear thrilled with Trump's decisive action, seeing it as a demonstration of his unwavering leadership. "We trust Trump to make the best decisions for the party," said another Republican representative. "His vision for America is what we need, and we'll follow wherever he leads."
Trump is reportedly already considering options to replace Vance, including musician Kid Rock, wrestling icon Hulk Hogan, and reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter. "Trump wants someone who has star power and can rally the base," the insider added.
Trump is reportedly planning the details of his "event." Sources suggest he’s considering a medieval-themed rally complete with gallows and a cheering crowd. "He wants to make a spectacle out of it," the insider added. "It’s all about the show."
In a disturbing turn of events, former President Donald Trump has reportedly decided to hang Ohio Senator J.D. Vance. Sources inside Mar-a-Lago claim that Trump, in a fit of medieval inspiration, announced that he would host a "public hanging" to make an example out of Vance.
The shocking decision stems from Trump's realization that Vance, whom he just made his VP running mate last week, was a bad choice. With Trump no longer running against Joe Biden but against Kamala Harris, he believes Vance is too much of a "loser" and needs to be replaced with someone more suitable for the new political landscape.
"Trump was very clear," said an anonymous insider. "He said, 'I want to show everyone what happens when you cross me, and I need someone who isn't a total uggo weirdo to stand beside me.' It was like something out of Game of Thrones."
Adding to the chaos, it has come to light that Trump was completely unaware that Vance's wife is Indian, which is costing him with his base.
J.D. Vance, for his part, is reportedly under heavy security and has been advised to avoid all public appearances until further notice. "He's shaken, understandably," said a close aide. "No one expects to be threatened with hanging in modern American politics, especially by a former president."
Meanwhile, reactions from within the Republican party are overwhelmingly supportive. "It's just Trump being Trump," one senator remarked with a nervous laugh. "He probably means it metaphorically. Probably." The GOP members appear thrilled with Trump's decisive action, seeing it as a demonstration of his unwavering leadership. "We trust Trump to make the best decisions for the party," said another Republican representative. "His vision for America is what we need, and we'll follow wherever he leads."
Trump is reportedly already considering options to replace Vance, including musician Kid Rock, wrestling icon Hulk Hogan, and reality TV star Dog the Bounty Hunter. "Trump wants someone who has star power and can rally the base," the insider added.
Trump is reportedly planning the details of his "event." Sources suggest he’s considering a medieval-themed rally complete with gallows and a cheering crowd. "He wants to make a spectacle out of it," the insider added. "It’s all about the show."
