Tornado warning!
May. 2nd, 2007 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thewayneToday someone sent out a tornado warning to everyone who works for the City.
OK. Basement is good, I once again work in the basement. I can theoretically crawl under my desk. The entire wall behind me is glass, but there's cork covering a lot of it and a big book case, so I should be relatively safe.
But what's this crap about lying in ditches? WTF? As I recall, tornadoes are frequently accompanied by voluminous quantities of water. We have an amusing little feature here in the southwest: flash floods. I can just picture someone lying in a ditch to avoid a potential tornado and getting killed by a flash flood!
THE SAFEST PLACE TO BE DURING A TORNADO IS IN A BASEMENT. GET UNDER A
WORKBENCH OR OTHER PIECE OF STURDY FURNITURE. IF NO BASEMENT IS
AVAILABLE...SEEK SHELTER ON THE LOWEST FLOOR OF THE BUILDING IN AN
INTERIOR HALLWAY OR ROOM SUCH AS A CLOSET. USE BLANKETS OR PILLOWS TO
COVER YOUR BODY AND ALWAYS STAY AWAY FROM WINDOWS.
IF IN MOBILE HOMES OR VEHICLES...EVACUATE THEM AND GET INSIDE A
SUBSTANTIAL SHELTER. IF NO SHELTER IS AVAILABLE...LIE FLAT IN THE
NEAREST DITCH OR OTHER LOW SPOT AND COVER YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR HANDS.
OK. Basement is good, I once again work in the basement. I can theoretically crawl under my desk. The entire wall behind me is glass, but there's cork covering a lot of it and a big book case, so I should be relatively safe.
But what's this crap about lying in ditches? WTF? As I recall, tornadoes are frequently accompanied by voluminous quantities of water. We have an amusing little feature here in the southwest: flash floods. I can just picture someone lying in a ditch to avoid a potential tornado and getting killed by a flash flood!
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 08:51 pm (UTC)Atomic bomb?
No biggie.
Volcano?
Easy as pie.
Earthquake?
Just relax and take it easy.
Ragnarock?
nYARLATHOTEP's got a thousand nothin' on duck and cover.
Domestic dispute?
You got a kitchen table? Take some cover and let the good times roll.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-03 11:15 pm (UTC)Or Obi-Wan, for that matter....
Domestic dispute?
You got a kitchen table? Take some cover and let the good times roll.
The only thing they never mentioned with that is having to pray like Hell she doesn't grab the cast-iron frying pan. Those fuckers have the mass and density to be armor-piercing to a battleship! The one consolation to it is that if it hits you through the table, you'll probably never know what happened. On the other hand, appearing to St. Peter with a handle protruding from just above your nose might be a tad on the embarrassing side.