thewayne | Happy Boxing Day!

So go out and punch someone in the face, but make sure that you're both wearing regulation protective gear.

But seriously, I hope you're all enjoying the holiday and time with friends and family, if that's how you choose to do things. My parents came over from Phoenix, and another of my dad's sisters and her husband came from California, so we had 11 for dinner yesterday. It was also my dad's birthday, so we all sang HBD to him and screw the performance fee that we didn't pay! Well, it wasn't done at a commercial location, so maybe we're safe from the RIAA or AMSCAP or whoever.

Monday saw Russet getting her first present. We went to a neurologist to get myself tested for Carpal Tunnel. My wife, against all odds, did not bring her laptop or a book and was quietly whining in the waiting room while I was doing paperwork. So I asked her if she'd like one of her presents a little bit early, and her eyes lit up. Well, in my computer backpack was a copy of Tales of Beedle the Bard (JK Rowling's new Potterverse backstory book) waiting for her, along with one of her other presents, so I got it for her. She was very happy and reports that it's a pretty cool book in which Rowling tries to patch up some questionable continuity/logic errors in the Potter books. It's “translated by Hermione Granger with commentary by Albus Dumbledore.” I hope to read it soon.

The exam was.... interesting. My orthopaedic had already diagnosed me, tentatively, with CTS, this was to confirm the diagnosis. The modern technique is to attach sensors similar to what they'd put on your chest for an EKG, and then send electrical pulses into your arm and measure the speed, it's called a Nerve Velocity Study.

It's a little unnerving.

No pun intended. The pulse duration is pretty short. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt: you're getting electricity shot through your arm, but I will say that it doesn't hurt much. I didn't count how many times that I got zapped, but it was probably a dozen or so per arm.

Then came the needle! Now we repeat the process, more or less, with a needle! It's a very fine gauge needle, much thinner than an injection or IV, thinner than most acupuncture needles, but they're still sending voltage through it. This test is a little more weird, because they have an audio amplifier hooked up to the needle so it squeals. Russet and I couldn't figure out what they were listening for, and they had a bad 60 cycle carrier in their signal. But maybe that hum was their signal tone that he was listening to the quality of.

The end result is that I definitely have Carpal Tunnel. The odd thing is that I have no problems typing, something that I'm very thankful for! I get a tingling and numbness in my elbows, wrists, and fingers, and I can't write with a pen or pencil! Writing more than a few words is difficult, writing a page of notes would be impossible. I had to take an incomplete in my algebra class because of it, finishing up the class next month is going to be amusing. At least I'll see the orthopaedic again by that point and I should be doing some physical therapy.

So it was an interesting experience.

It's also probable that I have something called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome as a result of my parathyroid surgery back in March. I didn't learn about TOS until after I'd seen my orthopaedic, so I'll have to bring that up when we see him again, probably some time in January. We're going to see the neurologist again in a few weeks as I'm still having problems with the shakes, though not nearly as often as before my surgery.

So let's get on to the good stuff: food and presents! I made my orange-scented green beans, came out fine. But the cool thing was that I made Alton Brown's City Ham (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/city-ham-recipe/index.html). This thing is AWESOME! Take a good ham (with bone, the Good Eats episode Ham I Am gets into the grades of ham), score it in a diamond pattern with a utility knife (the clicky kind so you have a uniform blade depth) so you've cut through the skin and initial fat layers. Bake to 130f. Pull off the skin with tongs and trim away a lot of the fat.

Now comes the cool part. Dry the ham with paper towels. Brush on a layer of brown mustard (hot dog style) with a basting brush. Pat on a layer of brown sugar. Now spritz it with bourbon from a spray bottle! But we're not done yet! Now you pat on a layer of ginger snap cookie dust (a food processor does an amazing job!), reinsert your probe thermometer, and bake to 140f.

WOW!

I am humbled by my own awesomeness. It was an incredibly good ham, and it was the first ham that I ever cooked! LOTS of apprehension on my part, feeding 11 people something that I'd never made before! Extremely moist, and the flavours and aroma were just terrific. Everyone loved it, and there wasn't a heck of a lot of it left afterwards.

I don't drink bourbon, so I got a $2 100ml bottle of Jim Beam from Walgreens, I'd estimate that I used maybe half an ounce, so many more hams will come from that bottle. And get a small spray bottle for applying, the smaller the better if you think in terms of manouvering the bottle in/near a roasting pan.

It really wasn't a lot of work, no where near as much work as my meatloaf or Alton's Pressure Cooker Chili.

We opened our other presents yesterday AM, I gave Russet a CD from Three Weird Sisters, a filk group, called Rite The First Time (their other CD is Hair of the Frog). Excellent silly music, one of their members beat Russ at a harp competition, so she likes to follow them. Russ gave me last year's Ditty Bops CD, Summer Rains. Excellent disc, sounds much more like their first album than their second. And the packaging is fantastic! They brought in a paper/packaging designer: the front cover has a pull-down slider that changes the cover from a picture of the girls to the album name, the inside has a pop-up when you open it, and the back cover has a turning wheel showing the track names one at a time. Very cool packaging! I'm glad Russ ordered it directly from their store so they get a bigger slice of the money, plus Amazon didn't have any copies.

I have one more present on the way for Russ, I thought two weeks would be sufficient delivery time, but it's coming from over seas and just didn't make it. That's OK.

The previous week was my birthday, Russet bought me a new computer desk and chair! I think it will help with my shoulder, but we gotta get the damn desk put together! She also gave me a copy of Nanny Ogg's Cookbook by Terry Pratchett, and a DVD of the Reduced Shakespeare Company's presentation of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged). If you EVER get a chance to see these guys, DO IT! They are hilarious, and their production is fantastic. They also do a Complete History of the United States (Abridged) and The Bible (Abridged). Very skillful writers and actors, heartily recommended.

So my best wishes that you have a Cool Yule, don't overindulge the bevvies and have a great time.