Random thoughts on losing your parents
Nov. 25th, 2022 12:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thewayneUnder a cut so you can skip it if you wish.
My wife's dad passed 11 days after we got married, her mom four years later. Both from cancer. My mom 14 months ago at 90, my dad the day before Halloween, so right about a month ago. Dad died of pancreatic cancer at 89, not able to understand that his body couldn't handle the treatment.
We were talking a couple of nights ago, she said that when her mom passed - she was in Maine living with one of Russet's sisters, Russet felt like she lost her center, that Oberlin (OH) was no longer her center, even though her mom had moved from there a couple of years after her dad died as the house was far too big and required too much upkeep and she'd be exploited for it. I knew the same thing was going to happen for Phoenix for me. The family house has to be sold to provide me and my two sibs with an inheritance, none of us can afford to buy out the others to keep it in the family, and my sister and her kids are likely to be moving to Chicago, my brother to northeastern AZ to set up a business and get away from all the Californians moving to Phoenix. Right now I'm wearing my dad's repaired/refurbished Seiko on my left wrist, and my Apple Watch on my right as a comfort. We'll be hanging my mom's Grandmother clock when I can figure out how we can do it securely. My best friend in Phoenix cleaned/lubed it a few months ago and got it running again after it sat on the wall, not working, for far too many years. No one kept it wound!
My wife calls herself an orphan. I suppose at a technical level, a person who has lost their parents, it's true. But I see orphan status as losing them in childhood and not having any siblings, which is clearly not the status of her or I!
This week has been rough. Just feeling kinda down in the dumps a bit, not major depression just a bit stronger than my frequent mild depression. Not remotely the "I can't get out of bed" depression. I make it in to work and function like an allegedly responsible adult, though I'm still mono-tasking to get things done correctly.
The worst thing is my dad's birthday is coming up: December 25th. That's not going to be a lot of fun. And my parents were married on the 4th of July. Maybe I should move to a low-key Islamic or Buddhist country that doesn't celebrate either of those holidays, the problem would be finding a good telescope job for Russet.
Festivus for the restofus.
Anyway, enough of a rant, I should finish up my morning and do something else. Perhaps slaughter some orcs or Angmarim.
My wife's dad passed 11 days after we got married, her mom four years later. Both from cancer. My mom 14 months ago at 90, my dad the day before Halloween, so right about a month ago. Dad died of pancreatic cancer at 89, not able to understand that his body couldn't handle the treatment.
We were talking a couple of nights ago, she said that when her mom passed - she was in Maine living with one of Russet's sisters, Russet felt like she lost her center, that Oberlin (OH) was no longer her center, even though her mom had moved from there a couple of years after her dad died as the house was far too big and required too much upkeep and she'd be exploited for it. I knew the same thing was going to happen for Phoenix for me. The family house has to be sold to provide me and my two sibs with an inheritance, none of us can afford to buy out the others to keep it in the family, and my sister and her kids are likely to be moving to Chicago, my brother to northeastern AZ to set up a business and get away from all the Californians moving to Phoenix. Right now I'm wearing my dad's repaired/refurbished Seiko on my left wrist, and my Apple Watch on my right as a comfort. We'll be hanging my mom's Grandmother clock when I can figure out how we can do it securely. My best friend in Phoenix cleaned/lubed it a few months ago and got it running again after it sat on the wall, not working, for far too many years. No one kept it wound!
My wife calls herself an orphan. I suppose at a technical level, a person who has lost their parents, it's true. But I see orphan status as losing them in childhood and not having any siblings, which is clearly not the status of her or I!
This week has been rough. Just feeling kinda down in the dumps a bit, not major depression just a bit stronger than my frequent mild depression. Not remotely the "I can't get out of bed" depression. I make it in to work and function like an allegedly responsible adult, though I'm still mono-tasking to get things done correctly.
The worst thing is my dad's birthday is coming up: December 25th. That's not going to be a lot of fun. And my parents were married on the 4th of July. Maybe I should move to a low-key Islamic or Buddhist country that doesn't celebrate either of those holidays, the problem would be finding a good telescope job for Russet.
Festivus for the restofus.
Anyway, enough of a rant, I should finish up my morning and do something else. Perhaps slaughter some orcs or Angmarim.
no subject
Date: 2022-11-28 10:10 pm (UTC)Guaranteed I will never forget the dates, but at least in a non-Christian country I won't have as much in the way of festivities surrounding me.