Teleport spell for Discordians

[thewayne]

I came across this on a forum that I frequent, I told the moderator how to set it to auto-prune messages and wanted to see what the oldest messages were. I posted this one back in February and still think it's pretty funny.

http://www.23ae.com/?post=267

Teleport Spell
A handy spell for Discordians
by Dantopia
2/15/2006 12:04:44 PM

This handy spell will let any Discordian teleport instantly to a random hospital in the area. You can do this in 5 easy steps - TRY IT TODAY!!!

Step 1 - Go into a building and get to at least the 2nd story.

Step 2 - Find a window that faces outside.

Step 3 - Jump through the window (make sure it's closed first so you crash through the glass).

Step 4 - Scream as loud as you can before you hit the ground.

Step 5 - Land on your head, so you get knocked unconscious.

If you do these steps correctly, you'll magically wake up in a hospital bed in a random hospital in your city. But beware - the lords of the teleport realm always ask for a toll. You will probably wake up all bandaged and bruised. Since people can't see magix happening they'll rationalize that they saw you leave in an ambulance. But you know the truth - you have teleported!

Note - the nature of this magix twix is VERY POWERFUL and sometimes the lords of the teleport realm will take a Discordian's life as payment. Please use this spell wisely. Neither I nor the Discordian Society assumes any liability for damages incurred with the use of this spell.

Comments

[deborak]

My stress level today is so high that performing steps 1 - 5 actually sounds like a pleasant way to spend my time.

[thewayne.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear it, hope things turn around! At least you get a nice Georgia vacation. Going to do Benihana's? For that matter, are they still there?

Maybe next year we'll make it.

23 skidoo

[tomegatheron.livejournal.com]

Best done while eating an apple and reading a Robert Anton Wilson novel.


Fnord!

[keleos.livejournal.com]

Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. (And of course there are five steps in the spell!)